Dreary days are here again

 Altogether shout it now
There's no-one who can doubt it now
So let's tell the world about it now
Dreary days are here again

It's early Thursday morning {Friday morning when I clicked Publish), and we're just getting started on dreary day number one. Or I am, anyway. The rest of the world seems to have decided to have another glorious global hoo-hah instead.

The Argentinian players made the whole thing about the Falklands, which is clearly a bigger deal for them than any of Argentina's real problems. It seems they didn't bring the Malvinas banner they waved themselves, some fans gave it to them after the game, but they will find themselves in trouble over it in any case. Unless Trump decides to phone up Infantino and tell him otherwise, of course, which seems unlikely unless he gets the whole thing muddled up with Greenland and decides it's all Denmark's fault.

I don't personally care about the islands either way, but I do remember that the Argentine invasion and the British counter-invasion both served their respective governments in the important state business of distracting the populace from their country's internal problems. It was by any standards a silly war, with the triviality of everyone's pretended motives in incongruous juxtaposition with the reality of soldiers and sailors burned, drowned or blown apart.

The Argentine Vice President Victoria Villarruel clearly doesn't agree. "The Falklands are Argentine," she posted. "They banned bringing them to the stadium and forgot that we carry them in our blood and our hearts." Villarruel also thinks the military dictatorship was a bulwark against atheism and communism, so perhaps shouldn't be taken too seriously. Right wing people just love talking like that, is all. 

Our idiots are pulling their weight as well though. "Argentina keep pumping out outrageous lies about the Falklands", say the Daily Express. "We should all be furious". The Daily Express, there, coming out against the concept of an outrageous lie. What extraordinary times we live in.

Even Keir Starmer had a go. “I would just say that the World Cup might not be ours, but the Falkland Islands definitely are." If Keir Starmer, the Daily Express and the forces of Argentine fascism all want us to care massively about this then the way forward seems clear.

As to the actual football, I would suggest we heed the words of former England keeper Joe Hart, who pointed out that none of the analysts commenting on England's performance had done as well when they were at the World Cup. Roy Keane has some excuse, having been knocked out of the 2002 World Cup by his own personality, but we've had Wayne Rooney, Gary Neville and Ian Wright all taking a view on BBC or ITV, despite never playing in a semi final themselves.

In fact England have done very well in the last three World Cups, having reached two semi-finals and a quarter-final. This is a better record than Brazil, Germany or Italy, in fact it's better than any other team except France and Argentina. We've also reached the finals of both European Championships during that time. 

None of which makes the reality of defeat any easier to handle, of course, especially if like me you allowed hope to creep in just in time for it to be dashed. We can start to look forward to the next European Championships, I guess, but we'll still come up against France and Spain there.

I see one solution, and one solution only. If Australia can be in Eurovision then I see no reason why England can't just be transferred to Oceania. Bribe Trump to give Infantino the order, move halfway round the world in footballing terms whilst remaining right here geographically and win the Oceania Nations Cup. No more years of hurt. You know it makes sense.







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